Lenny began the day with mom this morning. He said that mom was sleeping when he arrived but she woke up as he was putting her hearing aids in. She woke up right away. He did her full physical therapy/range of motion exercises on her upper body but only did her feet and toes and ankles full PT. He thought that someone else would do her legs so he decided to use the machine that Barry gave to mom to strengthen her arms. This machine is a bicycle-type of machine for the arms that is placed on a table. Lenny put mom's hand on one pedal and his on the other to see if she could follow the motion of the pedaling that Lenny was doing. He alternated hands. Then he then put both mom's hands on the pedals and moved the machine then let the machine turn alone to see if mom could follow...she did follow the motion for a bit but then couldn't do it. Mom ate breakfast with one of the CNAs who fed mom the whole time.Mom ate French Toast, coffee and oatmeal and juice for breakfast. She ate it all. Mom and Lenny shared some private jokes between them as well.
Anthony came next and he said that mom was asleep when he got there. She was in her wheelchair. He woke her and she woke up and was neither happy or sad, just flat affect today. He talked to her and then her lunch arrived. The Occupational Therapist was no place to be found so Anthony sent the CNA to find the OT. While the CNA searched, Anthony worked on waking mom up so that she would participate well with eating. The OT arrived and had to coax mom with the first few spoonfuls of food, then mom fed herself. But mom kept getting sleepy in between bites. She had pork chops, brussel sprouts, baked potatoes, coffee, juice and fruit. The OT had to feed mom hand over hand at first, but then mom fed herself. The OT reminded Anthony that mom needs to make "marked" progress this week like stabbing her food with the fork or OT will be dropped -- no more therapy. Anthony suggested that the OT lower the table for mom. This worked well in helping mom to reach her plate of food but it was then a longer distance from the table to her mouth and she sometimes gave up lifting the fork halfway. One of the CNAs said to be sure mom's progressive lens glasses were in the right spot on her face or the food would appear to be even further away. Mom tried to pierce her food several times but couldn't and the OT commented that mom didn't appear to have the strength to do it. (So why not work with her --- give her therapy to strengthen them?????!!!! It won't happen all alone!!). UGH! The OT said mom's feeding skills are inconsistent right now...and then she said maybe it is OK that mom doesn't pierce her food because some people just scoop with the fork. After 35 minutes the OT person left and Anthony finished encouraging mom to eat and feed herself until another CNA came into the room. While the OT was there, mom would feed herself 3-4 times alone and then the OT fed her 1-2 times, then mom fed herself alone and then the OT would do it (because mom would stop in between and look tired and sleepy). Anthony said that mom would actually brighten up at times and seem to look surprised that she was eating...then get sleepy again. The OT was happy with mom's progress overall. The CNAs saw mom feeding herself and were all very thrilled by it. It took over an hour for mom to finish lunch but she did it. Anthony brought his baseball card collection to show mom and talk to her about (he is just so awesome...he makes me cry when he tells me what he does and plans to do with her...what a teacher he has become or maybe always was!!). They looked at the cards together. Mom was a big Brooklyn Dodgers fan. Later she became a MET fan. Mom looked at the cards with interest and obvious pleasure but didn't seem to want to touch them. Anthony thought she knew how valuable they were and wouldn't want to ruin them. Anthony asked mom if he should bring the cards back tomorrow and she said, "Yes" happily.
She fell asleep again just when Dad and Aunt Sophie came to see her. She was relatively quiet and/or sleeping while Aunt Sophie was there. Dad brought Aunt Sophie home then and came back to see mom later after an early dinner. He put her to bed tonight. He said that she ate well at dinner. He also said that when he went to leave tonight, mom asked him, "Why do you have to leave me?" and he cried.
This is a difficult situation. Many people have commented in many ways on many aspects. One person mentioned to me recently, "Wow. It isn't fair. I mean she went to church all the time, sang in the choir..." We all will die some day. No matter what we do. Dying is a part of living, at least in this life right now it is. It is important to remember that bad things happen to everyone at one time or another. What is important is to have faith in God... He alone knows that He Alone is the only One Who gets us through each day. Life is full of bad things happening...if it wasn't God would never have sent a Savior...there would be no need. God is with us always. Life is tragic at times, heartbreaking even...but God is there for us in the midst of it all. Also, others question how much we give to mom...some ask if she gave that much to us? Love isn't given based on what was received...it is just given freely....to whatever extent we are all able to give love. We give mom all that we do because we have hope for her recovery still. My dear friend, Sister Mary Ann shared a line from a poem today:
"Hope is the hardest love we carry." ~ Jane
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