Thursday, September 15, 2011
Anthony started the day with mom. He set her up for the morning and gave her breakfast. He stayed with her until dad got there. I didn't get to touch base with him regarding mom, but if I know Anthony, he worked on her legs. Dad stayed with mom all day.
Yes, mom IS getting better each day. Her progress is forward mainly but with little steps backward in some areas (for example, you can't hear her talk most times again--her volume is very low). But, thank God, her cognition is ever going forward though which is great. The main periods of confusion occur when she is either
tired or when she is emotional (like wanting to go home), but the confusion is not vast.
We are noticing that she is highly distracted when in a group---any interaction that involves more than her and someone else, becomes distracting for her. In such situations, she is suddenly unable to hear. We check her hearing aids and usually they are fine so it is an attentional or sensory overload problem.
Last night, at the computer, she really had a hard time focusing on the monitor (the picture was small at first) even though the volume was really loud. We had to give her many sensory cues, like making the picture much larger as well as having the volume up high, in order for mom to be able to focus on the computer. She DID eventually focus once we did all this (other people also cannot be talking at the same time or she cannot filter out the background from the foreground sound---this means that she has difficulty determining what is important to listen to versus what is not---and she can't multi-task and listen to and filter everything).
Mom is also becoming angry at her situation. I guess she is beginning to go through that stage of grief which is good as long as she continues to move forward to the acceptance stage of the process. Over the last few days, she frequently says, "I'm so sick of all this. I want to get out of here" lately. Perhaps this is what is driving her
to become more cognizant and physically able at times. It seems so.
Mom has been referring to her parents again alot lately. However, sometimes she forgets that they have both passed away. Claudia had a conversation about them and the fact that they are "in heaven watching down" with mom yesterday. Mom wasn't shocked to know they are gone, she just listened.
~Kathy
I went to mom tonight because John was needed for another family situation. I arrived and dad was sitting next to her and they were both watching TV. Dad told me he spoke to the facility’s main doctor about mom and how when she was in Brookhaven the doctor there mentioned an operation to close up the stoma. He said he would look into it. He also mentioned the feeding tube and this doctor agreed with dad that it can open her up to an infection having the tube in for too long.
Dad left and I stayed with mom. I brought a few catalogs that I received in the mail. Mom looked at them for a while. She also had a Chinese menu on her tray. She was very excited to tell me that tomorrow she is ordering Chinese food for lunch. She was like a little kid almost giggling with excitement. I asked if she and dad were ordering food and she said yes.
Dinner came and she ate a good amount. She had tortellini, mixed vegetables, and a pudding pie. She didn’t eat much of the vegetables. I cleared off her tray table and took out the letter blocks. I had her and I take turns spelling words with the blocks. After that I took out the thera-putty and buried little plastic pieces in it. I then had her dig through the thera-putty to get them out. She stayed with the task until they were all found. At one point the CNA came in and asked her when she wanted to go to bed and she said soon and then told me she was sorry but she was tired. SORRY! I love that she can be comfortable and rest in bed early in the evening. Anything is better than when she had “sundowners”. That was horrible staying up late until she settled down.
Once mom was in bed she kept saying for me to go home. I told her I would stay a little while longer. We held hands and sang our song and mom sang a little of the counter part but forgot the words…
I hear singing and there's no one there
I smell blossoms and the trees are bare
All day long I seem to walk on air
I wonder why, I wonder why?
I keep tossing in my sleep at night
And what's more, I've lost my appetite
Stars that used to twinkle in the skies
Are twinkling in my eyes, I wonder why?
You don't need analyzin'
It is not so surprisin'
That you feel very strange but nice
Your heart goes pitter-patter
I know just what's the matter
Because I've been there once or twice
Put your head on my shoulder
You need someone who's older
A rub down with a velvet glove
There is nothing you can take
To relieve that pleasant ache
You're not sick, you're just in love!
Both parts are sung simultaneously. The last time we sang she sang my part. We had a great talk. Mom said that she is afraid to go home. I asked her why and she said she is always nervous when she comes home from vacation or being away for a while. She said, “Where do I start?” Meaning, where does she start to straighten up the house when she gets home. She said everything must be different. She also said she is blessed to have our family. At one point mom asked me if she was a good mother. I told her that she is and that the reason we are so good to her is that we are a reflection of the love she has for us. I told her that she taught us how to be loving and caring. She spoke about how much she misses her life with dad. I reassured her that she would walk out of this place. (Actually, I forgot to mention that tonight when they put her on the sarita lift, mom lifted herself up and stayed holding on and supporting herself with her legs. I was pretty impressed). We talked some more and she asked about John. She said, “I thought my other boyfriend was coming tonight” (meaning John) and I told her he had something very important to do. We called him and she spoke to him. She was pretty loud. We eventually said a prayer and just before I finished she said, “And please let me go home to dad.”
It is in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.
Ephesians 1:11
Peace,
~Claud
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