I began the day with mom this morning. One of the aides in the hallway greeted me and said,, “Oh mom wants to know where her family is today!!!!” I entered her room (15 minutes later than usual) and she was sitting up in bed and had eaten all her scrambled eggs and she was crying and angry. She was livid!! She was so angry with her condition. She was yelling and crying and telling me that she can’t stand being like she is, “I CAN’T MOVE OR DO ANYTHING!!! I HATE BEING LIKE THIS!!! I HATE IT!!!” She was sobbing. No matter what I said, she got more angry and cried harder. I figured a good cry is cathartic and restorative so I held her and let her cry. One of the aides came in and then another and the nurse---the 3 of them surrounded mom’s bed and encouraged her as they, too, cried with her. They are the best people ever. Mom cried and yelled and cried and yelled. She blew her nose and asked where the garbage was. I tried to take the tissue and she yelled at me and said, “Don’t touch my dirty tissue” (so much like the old mom!!!) and then she’d say, “I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF!!!” The nurse kept telling mom how good it is that she is able to have emotions like this and that it shows how far she has come. The aides eventually made mom laugh and smile and mom kidded with them pretending to be angry still. The aides fought over who is mom’s favorite and who is her “adopted daughter.”
She did something today that she hasn’t done in well over a year---as she was eating, mom took a tissue from the box, placed it on the tray table and rested her spoon on it. Mom and I don’t like to put our utensils on the table—we place them on a napkin usually (germs on the table!! OCD!!! Hahahaha!!!!).When we were little, we used to go to a huge family reunion. It would be held in a park and all the families would picnic together. We kids would be covered in dirt (it would be hot and the ground dry and dusty) and mom would sit us on the picnic tables and take out one of the wet wash clothes from a plastic baggie that she brought from home (there were no baby wipes back in the old days) and she would wash us up squeaky clean! Mom brought about 5 such wash clothes and repeated this ritual that many times a day at the picnic. Mom kept complaining this morning that I should touch her dirty tissues so I teased her and donned a face mask and rubber gloves. The other day, I left to fill mom’s pitcher with water and she accused me, “Did you just get me water from the bathroom sink!!!!????”
Mom asked for Claudia again so we called her. Mom sobbed into the phone. Then dad called mom and she sobbed again. She finally sobbed herself out and then ate breakfast with me (I brought my breakfast from home). She loves the concoction Claudia makes for her----oatmeal, Fiber One cereal, applesauce, and cinnamon. She calls the Fiber One “rabbit pellets!!!” They do look like rabbit food!!
Mom suddenly asked how Lenny is and she called him. Then she said “I wonder how Ava’s doing?” So we called her next. The 2 college kids are taking tests last week and this week. When mom finished eating, she asked me to put her spoon “in the sink” but self-corrected and said, “Wait, what do I do with this?” She looked at the calendar next and tried to figure out the date. She was a day off on the day and number but knew the month and year. I turned from the bed and mom threw the little theraball at me and laughed!!
Mom asked me suddenly, “How does my house look lately?” Claudia and I are going to try to skype mom’s house with the computers. Next, mom said, “Hey, where’s my book? I need to write in it.” We got her memory book and mom set about filling in her daily information. She wrote what the date was, the time, and what she ate for breakfast. She kept forgetting all the information though and had to use the digital clock, the wall calendar, and the mini-menu from breakfast to remember the right information.
Mom called Anthony, Con and the kids next and asked them to bring her some more FiberOne cereal and double A batteries (I had written it on a piece of paper like a list for mom and she read the list to them but I wrote AA Batteries and mom said, “Double A”!!!). She asked Anthony to buy the items and told him, “I’ll give you the money for it all when I get home.”
Mom asked to practice telling time next because, “I can’t tell time yet so help me with that.” I gave her a work sheet Claudia brought that had many clock faces on it and varying times. We also looked at a telling time game I bought her that has a clock and many square cards with both digital and analogue clock faces showing various times. Mom looked at the work sheet first and said, “Oh wait, I know some of these!” When I asked her to tell me the times (all were on the hour), mom said, “I’m bad. I don’t know any.” We worked through each time on the hour for each clock on the page. Interestingly, though mom couldn’t tell me the time by looking at the clocks, she could write the time in digital format (6:00, 8:00…) once we said it out loud verbally. For 10:00, for example, mom would say it is, “10 after 12.” She couldn’t remember the pattern of the page either (that all the clocks were on the hour).
Mom’s CNA told me today how much the CNA loves mom and all of us and that the CNA wishes her little girl had teachers like all of us. I don’t say this to brag but to be encouraged. The CNA asked me to ask Claudia to make some of the materials we have for mom for the CNA’s daughter! Claudia did this for one of the CNAs downstairs.
Mom has been complaining about being fidgety today. She is jumpy on and off. She also was moving her shoulder to her ear on the right side on and off. Mom was also rocking back and forth hitting her back into the bed on and off too. We had her heart rate checked (John thought of that!) but it was good. She also isn’t on any medications or new ones or any new food. The nurse said that it could all just be part of mom’s recovery. Mom could be wanting to get up more now that she feels good. Also, Claudia recalled long ago last year when mom used to wiggle and shake at times as her brain sent signals to her various body parts as she got better.
After mom got dressed and washed, she talked on the phone to Aunt Carol, Angelo and Madeline. She had such normal typical conversations. Dad, Florence and Maureen came to see mom next. Dad said they had a normal, fun visit. He said they talked and laughed and joked and teased. Terry came to see mom next. Terry and dad worked on mom’s legs and arms and fingers and hands---stretching and exercising them. They read magazines and the newspaper and, at one point, mom told dad she wanted to talk to me and told me that there would be a TV show on tonight that she thought I would like. I couldn’t hear all that she was saying unfortunately because she doesn’t always remember to cover the hole in her throat and dad doesn’t always remember to tell her to do it or do it for her. I did hear that the show is a true story about a person with a disability who invented something…but I’m not sure.
Dad said that mom cried when he left and Terry stayed to put mom to sleep.
"This is why I weep and my eyes overflow with tears.” Lamentations 1:16
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