Mom’s update Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I started the day with mom. She was in bed sitting up crying when I arrived. She did not have breakfast yet. I set her up by pulling up the blinds and putting her hearing aids in. I brought my Ipod and I was going to play “Good Morning Starshine” from Hair. I played it and sang. I also played morning has broken. Mom was still down. Her breakfast came and I made her oatmeal (we put unsweetened apple sauce, cinnamon and fiber one in it). She had scrambled eggs and sausage. Mom ate but was still melancholy. I put on Spamolot “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” and I had to change the words in the middle (for those of you who know the words!) I sang and danced with the cover to her breakfast dish as a top hat! One of the nurses walked by and did a double take! Another CNA came in and sang and danced with me! Mom was cracking up and singing along. We also sang songs from Godspell. It was getting late and I had to get to work (mission accomplished!). I turned on the TV and turned mom attention to what was on. I removed her breakfast tray and set her up for the day.
~Claudia
When I (Kathy) arrived to see mom this afternoon, she smiled and was surprised and began to cry, saying, "I'm soooo happy to see you!! I missed you so much!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!” She forgot that I saw her Friday, Sunday, and yesterday. When I told her I just saw her yesterday, she told me, “No you didn’t. I haven’t seen you in a long time.” We sat and hugged and talked. She held me tightly.
Dad and I talked (in code) about how to ready the house and dad for mom’s return home. Dad doesn’t feel we need to move the bedroom to the living room or dining room. He wants to keep the house the same and keep mom close to the bathroom which is in the back of the house across from the bedroom. His rationale is that, if we want mom to use the bathroom eventually, she needs to be closer to it. I tried to explain that using the bathroom at home will probably be a long time coming but dad is hopeful. Dad thinks that the portable, travel wheelchair we used for Grammy (mom’s mom) will work in the narrow opening between the kitchen and the hallway. He said we could just move mom around the house in the wheelchair and then transport her to another chair in the house once she gets to the desired room. Dad would like to just rearrange the bedroom so that the bed is close to the bedroom door, which is closer to the bathroom (both doors are across from each other). I told dad that we can try his methods first and then, if need be, once mom is home, we could make any necessary adjustments. I also explained that a Social Worker from the Dept. of Social Services would most likely be making a home visit to assess things there before mom comes home as well (and most likely, recommendations will need to be followed).
We planned a Team Meeting for next Thursday, next week to discuss mom’s discharge and when that can be. Pray for guidance in this process please.
Dad and I worked with mom to try to get her to stand up for us. Dad said that this is something mom won’t do for him. I explained that it’s important that she does all she is able to do for him if she is coming home soon. I told him to practice with mom at the facility first. This is something I plan to bring up next week at the meeting…the process of teaching dad how to help mom and getting them both to work together. This is a big piece of the process in getting mom home. We need to also get mom to generalize the skills and abilities she has in every area, situation, place she is. Currently, mom still has problems doing this.
Back to getting mom to stand for us. As soon as I moved the table away from the front of her, she began to cry. When I asked why she was crying, she said she didn’t know and supposed that it was because she was afraid she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t do it at all. We placed the walker in front of her, told her to grab it, then said, “On the count of 3, stand.” Mom tried but not whole heartedly. She was obviously afraid to do it. She is very secure with standing whenever Anthony is there and that is wonderful. We just need her to feel that secure with us all. She sort of lifted off the seat of the wheelchair about 3-4 inches but never stood up at all. And, in her lifting up, she was totally supported from behind by me. Dad stands in front of the walker and holds it in place while I stand behind the wheelchair and hold it in place. No luck at all.
Next, mom and I did a Math work sheet. The directions said to, “Write the numbers in order starting with the smallest number.” There were four rows of numbers such as: 48 57 54 8, or 51 46 54 19. Mom did this in a flash! But…I had to isolate one row at a time for her to look at. Left as a whole page for her to view at once, she tended to lose her place on the page and mingle the numbers from one row with another. The next half of the page did the opposite, asking that the numbers be written in order starting with the largest number. Mom was able to do this but needed me to remind her halfway through that the object was to move from largest to smallest this time. Mom tended to revert back to smallest to largest.
I had mom write in her journal next. She appeared to get very anxious about what she should be writing and that she couldn’t remember much. As dad and I talked to her and verbally cued her: “Well, who was here when you woke up this morning” and “Who came next?” etc. she began to become focused on what she wanted to write. Here is what she wrote:
“I woke up this morning and Claudia was here. Anthony took me outside and then I had lunche Dad came and we sat outside for a while me, Anthony, dady. Then we came in for lunch.”
I forgot to mention both yesterday and today that mom writes in all upper case letters in the journal.
Mom talked on the phone with Sammy and Gina next. Sam called her to tell her that Gina sprained her ankle at school! Mom was upset that this happened and asked how it happened and what Gina had to do now that her ankle was sprained. Mom still has a hard time hearing due to the wax build up in her ear and the lack of 1 hearing aid (it won’t be ready for another 5-10 days---it was broken).
When I had to say good-bye and leave for work, mom cried. She said she didn’t want me to leave and that she missed me so much.
In light of the conversation with the nuerologist about the fidgeting that mom does, he is sending her for an EEG on November 10th.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
~Kathy
Dad came to see mom. He and Anthony sat with mom outside. Mom has a journal that SHE writes in now. Kathy has been having her write what she does each day in the journal so I read that they sat outside with her today. When I arrived this evening I saw a math worksheet on the bed and asked dad if he did it with her and he said yes (Go dad!) Mom had a tea magazine on her tray and we read recipes together. I brought my dinner and when mom’s dinner came we ate together. After dinner she wrote what she ate in the memory book. I went to a conference this week and I got a great idea about the memory book. I want to take pictures of what we do with her each day and print them out to show her when people have visited and what they did. I am tired (and so is mom) of writing what she ate. I feel like it is too much attention of food and meals. (the speech therapist meant well, but she needs to remember people and activities) We did a worksheet on money and also took out the little box of fake bills (money) and we counted money. She did well. I showed mom the pictures my cousin Laura sent me this weekend of her two boys in their football uniforms. They both won their games and are in the playoffs and the mighty bowl!!! Mom loved it so we called Laura. Mom asked her if she knew who it was and Laura guessed right! Mom told her she was happy about her boys (the football games). Just then a CNA came in the room and mom told Laura they were coming to take her to the bathroom and she had to go. Mom was put in bed and we sat holding hands and watching TV. We said a prayer and I left.
Peace and Be Well,
~Claud
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