Mom’s update November 21, 2011
I started the day with mom and she was in bed crying. We didn’t have a great morning. It was very difficult. I asked mom what was the matter but she couldn’t tell me. I fixed her in the bed and put her hearing aids in. I tried to calm her and assure her that all will be ok and that she is so close to going home. She kept apologizing for crying and I told her it was ok and that she should let it all out. All of a sudden she started to cry even harder and said she needed to go to the bathroom. I saw the CNA but knew that during breakfast they rarely take you to the bathroom because mom needs two people. The CNA said she would get a bedpan and mom started to wail! The CNA asked her what was wrong and she said she didn’t want the bedpan. She wanted to go to the bathroom. The aid this morning was so compassionate. She said no problem and found someone to help her. They took mom to the bathroom and then her breakfast came. I fixed her cereal (add non-sweetened applesauce, cinnamon and fiber one). I went to get her ice water and then fixed her tray. It took mom a while before she was out. I just held her and rubbed her back and said it was ok to cry. I had to go to work so I barely had time to help her eat. I had her eat her scrambled eggs first so I could get rid of the tray. I then left her with her cereal and juice. I placed some magazines on her tray, the phone and a box of tissues and put a clean shirt on the bed (her shirt was a mess because the CNA tried to rush and brushed her teeth when she was in the bathroom – it was nice of her to take her, I’m not complaining). She also made a mess with breakfast because we were rushing as well. I gave her a kiss and left for the day. I called my brother who usually goes next to tell him what happened. I didn’t want him to come and see her shirt a mess, still eating breakfast, with a bib still on.
Anthony came next. She was crying a lot today with Anthony too. She wanted to go for a walk so she wouldn’t disturb her roommate. He took her to the end of the hall where the windows are so he could distract her. She expressed to Anthony that she is afraid to go home. She has conflicting emotions. She feels bad that she won’t be able to clean her house, but she doesn’t want anyone in her house cleaning it. She is feeling that she isn’t getting better and is afraid she won’t be able to walk around her house. I guess she can’t wrap her head around what life will be like when she is home. Dad came while Anthony was there.
~Claud
Mom’s 2 friends, Florence and Maureen, came to see her today. Dad said they all had a great visit. They brought mom a “turkey” bouquet!! So adorable!
Dad and the OT (Occupational Therapist) worked on helping mom in the bathroom again. Dad did the whole thing alone again with a minor mistakewhich he corrected without a problem. Mom stood 4 times to a count of 30 at the hallway rail as well. No walking today.
Dad said that another nurse from the Department of Social Services came today to review what services mom will need at home. The nurse said that mom will receive physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy to help raise her volume and work on cognition. Mom will also get visits from a nurse at home as well. The nurse said that the physical therapist at the facility now will provide a list of the equipment and supplies mom needs at home (like the hospital bed…). Medicaid pays for the nurse, aide and supplies/equipment. Medicare pays for the services. There is an initial 60 day window for services. After 60 days, according to mom’s progress, mom gets to either continue therapies or they are dismissed (if mom plateaus). There are other insurances that can cover other therapies both in and out of the home as well.
Mom, dad and I took a walk to visit 2 nurses in the old vent wing who haven’t seen mom for a while (months!!). I saw them when I arrived today and promised them a visit. The nurses said mom should go home in a limo and we just may do that!! Mom also had a looonnnggg talk with the Recreation Therapist who worked so much with mom downstairs in the old wing. The therapist and mom both cried over missing each other after mom goes home. Mom thanked the therapist over and over (other nurses watching began to cry too). Mom is a miracle.
Unfortunately, we had an incident with at least one of the new CNAs with mom. Two aides brought mom to the bathroom this afternoon while I was there. When mom was wheeled out of the bathroom, she looked a bit shaken and she began to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she said, “Help me, please help me.” She was practically on the edge of the wheelchair and so I mentioned it to the aide who responded in a “huffy” tone, “Well you have too many pillows behind her.” Wrong answer. I remained kind but firm and smiled and said, “Yes, but they are always there. Let’s try to fix mom because she looks like she could slide off the chair.” The aide remained nasty. Mom, Dad and I went for the walk then and mom cried again. When I asked her what was wrong, mom said, “That person was sooo mean to me…..” and sobbed harder. I asked who and mom told me. I asked what the aide did that was mean and mom said, “The aide was sooo rough with me!!!” and sobbed more. When we got back upstairs, I told one of the nice nurses and the nurse addressed it with the aide. The aide had a poor attitude. The aide came to take mom to be weighed and mom looked upset. I addressed the issue with the aide---nicely but firmly---and the aide pretended to be unaware of a problem and confused but nasty still. The aide left the room. Mom had to use the bathroom and began to fidget. I asked her why she was fidgeting and she said she had to “go to the bathroom.” I said I would call the aides and mom said, “NO! I’ll just go in the diaper” and did so. Mom hasn’t done this during the day in months! Mom was afraid or uncomfortable to be with the aide in the bathroom. I found the aide in the hallway and told the aide that mom needed to be changed whenever there was a chance. The aide was nasty. I told the aide that whatever the problem was in the bathroom before, it disturbed mom and made her feel uncomfortable. The aide was nasty and said, “Well, I didn’t do anything different with her. Look, your mother is a big woman and very heavy and she doesn’t stand at all. She can’t stand up.” I told the aide that was no reason to be rough and that mom CAN indeed stand up. The aide said, “Well, not for me she doesn’t” I told the aide it could be the affect that is making mom nervous and that all it takes is kindness, patience, and love to get mom to do what she needs to do. The aide said, “I always treat my patients that way. Look, would you rather she gets hurt when she falls down?” I reported the aide to another nurse and left a message with the night nursing supervisor as well. I told them all that we are no longer comfortable with this person helping mom and that mom is not comfortable either. I plan to make a surprise visit later tonight before the aide leaves for home to make sure mom is OK. This is the last thing we need a week before mom leaves!!!
~Kathy
Peace and Be Well
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