Claudia and Ava started the day with mom this morning. Claudia said that mom was very happy and joking around a lot. She was thrilled to see Ava too! Claudia then dumped mom’s eggs in the garbage to prepare to put the food she bought for her on the plate and mom said, “Ohhh, do you think I have enough? Oh wait, let me eat that last bit—OK I’m full!” Claudia was putting things on her plate but didn’t have it on the plate yet. Mom told Ava that Claudia spoils her!
Mom started to record what she ate in the memory book. Claudia began to do our “tell and spell” where mom has to tell and then spell what she was going to write but mom rolled her eyes at Ava in impatience and gave a smirk. She thought this was a silly thing to do! So Claudia said, “How do you spell ‘ham?’” Mom said, “DPQ” and rolled her eyes as if to say, “Are you kidding me?” However, as mom wrote the sentence, “I had ham for breakfast” she wrote ‘am’ instead of ‘ham.’ Claudia pointed that out to her and then they laughed about spelling aloud first before writing.
Mom asked Ava what her boyfriend’s last name was and then proceeded to try to spell it…and she did! Mom wanted to do ‘work’ so Claudia gave her a logic sheet with a calendar again. The sheet was titled, “Melvin’s Calendar.” Mom asked Ava, “Who the heck is Melvin?” and laughed!! She was in a comical mood today! Mom answered the questions well. Some of the questions involved reading the calendar in order to find out when specific events either happened or would happen. Mom did well.
When I arrived just after Claudia and Ava left, mom was in bed watching TV and drinking ice water. Claudia and Ava left her with the scissors and some shapes to cut. Mom told me proudly that she drew all the shapes herself first and had cut the circle shape alone. But—she told me to, “Get all this junk off my table now.” I told her that the “junk” was her homework and that she had to finish doing it, to which she moaned like a little kid and said, “But why do I have to?” She is too funny!
I asked her who came to see her this morning…who woke her up. Mom said she couldn’t remember… “Dad? Claudia?” I told her to stop, wait, and think about it. She answered, “Oh yeah, Claudia was here.” I asked her who else was with Claudia this morning. “Dad?” she replied. “It wasn’t Anthony,” she said. I told her to look at the family pictures on the door because it was a family member who came and the person is a girl. Mom said, “Oh yeah! Ava came!” and lit up.
We made phone calls next---“phone call speech therapy!” We work on her conversation and listening skills while she is on the phone. Phone conversations help to keep her mind sharp because she has to really listen to what the person on the other end is saying and respond accordingly. Largely, she does really well with this. She called dad first and told him to bring some more cereal and applesauce. Mom called her niece, Laura, next and talked about her boys playing football today. Mom told Laura that she would say a prayer for the boys as they play their playoff game today. Mom called her brother, Ray, next but got his answering machine so she left a message.
Mom said she needed to use the bathroom so I tried to help her get from the bed to the wheelchair. It takes the 2 CNAs on the wing so long to get to her. Sometimes mom has to wait 45 minutes to an hour for someone to come. They are very short staffed. Mom managed to scooch herself up, hold onto the rails of the bed, and then slowly…ever so slowly…scooch herself to the edge of the bed. By that time, the CNAs came and helped mom get from the bed to the wheelchair (but they never checked her chart and arrived with the serita lift first).
After the aides brought mom to the bathroom and got her dressed, mom began to cry. Mom kept saying, “I’m sorry. I’m such a baby! I just want dad!!!” I told her that she is a very brave person and far from a baby…that she is a miracle. She said she just is so frustrated because she can’t do anything. I reminded her that she could do many things and had come a long way. I told her to just cry and get it out and she did. I held her in my arms and she cried and cried.
She said that she is nervous about going home and that she is worried that she won’t be able to cook and clean anymore and sobbed over this. I told her she is actually lucky that she can’t do the “work related” things about being home any more!! I told her that, when she stops to think about it, all the things she CAN do are fun things!! Going to movies, seeing friends, sleeping in her own bed, living with dad again, being a part of all our home lives again!! It’s only the work that she can’t do anymore.
I told her we would all continue to help her at home and she said, “Oh, that’s enough now! You all have your own families and lives to live. It’s time for all of you to go back to living your lives now. I need to do things for myself.” I told her that we don’t mind being here for her because we love her and that’s what love does. She cried and cried. She said she doesn’t want to need to have anyone do things for her and kept saying that she can’t do anything. I told her that she needs to re-prioritize things now. I told her that it is the people and the relationships in our lives that matter most and not the “things we can or can’t do.”
I told her to call Aunt Carol for support in this area because Aunt Carol had a stroke many years ago and is doing fine now. She is our “poster child” of hope!! Mom called Aunt Carol and they talked heart to heart. Aunt Carol is such a wonderful person—she is always there for each of us. She told mom honestly what it felt like to come home again. She said it was very exciting and happy, but at the same time, it was scary too. She and mom talked and talked. Mom told her that she was worried about cleaning and cooking and getting into the car to go shopping. Aunt Carol told her that they had done enough cleaning and shopping and cooking in their lifetimes and that now it was time to have fun! Mom told Aunt Carol it was good to talk to her and mom made many comments about how alike they were in that they could both laugh now about not remembering things.
Mom wrote in her journal next. Usually, when she writes in her journal, I have to continually prompt her about what to write. It is as if she has no way to collect any thoughts of her own and put them on paper. When she heard the date, she said that today was her Uncle Mario’s birthday (I wonder if she is correct? He passed away in his 80s twenty years ago). Uncle Mario was Aunt Sophie’s husband. Mom said she wanted to call Aunt Sophie but the line was busy.
Mom began to fidget then and said that she can’t sit still because she is bored but she continued to write. Mom remembered and wrote that Ava showed her a picture of her boyfriend and remembered his first and last name with only a phonemic prompt (“Bbbb….” and then “Aaaa…”). Mom wrote so much in her journal today without help to think about what to write!!! She wrote and wrote and wrote!!! Mom spent over an hour writing in her journal!! It is amazing what a good cry can do to cleanse both the mind and the spirit!! Mom wrote this all by herself both mentally and physically without ANY prompting or help from me:
“Kathy is here and I thing (think) it was Uncle Mario’s birthday. Claudia and Ava woke me up. It was so good to see Ava. She showed me a picture of her poyfriend (boyfriend) {mom wrote his name}. He’s very nice looking. M’ (I’m) here putting my memories into this book. T (I) called Aunt Carol and it was so nice to talk with her. I always talked wit (with) er (her) grte (great?). Just like old times. I’m getting ready to come home and I’m very aprehansive (apprehensive). I ting (think) everyone is waiting for me to come home. Im waiting for Jean to come. H’s always so busy doing errants for everybody. But I know that he si (is) so busy becaus he does so many errnds (errands) for everybody. He has a heart of gold. Always has time to take care of eeverybody’s problems. I can’t wait until we too (two) are together as husband and wife again getting ready for thanksgiving and very soon, Christmas. I hope I can do everthing. Caty (Kathy), Terry and Claudia will be here helping me and I can’t wait until it’s Christmas. It will be hard getting the kids everthng (everything). I am continuing this because Kathy urged me to continues so here I am on Saturday writing my heart out and doing what Katy (Kathy) wants me to do. T (I) have to confess that I do’t (don’t) want to do it. She is so pesty but I love her!! Well its so close to AM danker (??) and I am tied (tired) of writing so goobye (good bye). I’ll write more tomortow (tomorrow). Tomorrow Kathy.”
I brought mom some cookies I made and mom loved them. Anthony and Con came next and Con read magazines with mom. Mom read some of the magazines to Con. Mom said that she liked Con’s reading glasses.
Dad and Terry came next and stayed with mom all afternoon. Terry put mom to bed tonight.
“Give us this day our daily bread.” Matthew 6:11
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