When I arrived to see mom this morning, she was sitting in bed, with her breakfast half eaten before her, crying. She was ripping mad!! She was yelling (in her quiet tone) about how mad she is that she is still here in the facility….how much she wants to go home…how much she can’t stand that she can’t even blow her own nose!!! I let her cry a bit and comforted her or just rode it out with her and then I told her it was time to finish eating. She fought me!!! Vehemently!! She wouldn’t drink her juices or eat her applesauce….I really had to coax her to do it.
She finally complied but insisted on eating her oatmeal/applesauce/fiberOne/ cinnamon concoction with a FORK!!! She refused to eat it with a spoon! I let her eat it with the fork because it reminded me of the children I used to teach who had no control over their lives so they would exert power over whatever they could—no matter what it was. This is the same for mom. Right now, mom has little control over herself and her situation. In order to feel more in control, she needed to exert some power oversomething/anything…to control something in her life. So….she used the fork to eat her oatmeal mix.
Mom began to talk a bit---conversationally. She told me that Con and Anthony Michael came last night and that Con cleaned and straightened her room for her. She asked where I bought my shirt and commented on how nice it was (something she always did even before the stroke). Mom also said out of nowhere, “So now, what was the outcome of that meeting I went to with you?” She was referring to the Team Meeting last week. I told her the outcome was that she was preparing to go home. Mom said, “Well when is that going to be???!!!” But largely, mom was in a bad mood…cranky all morning.
When she finished breakfast, she wanted to go to the bathroom but the CNA was busy giving someone else a shower. Mom said she couldn’t wait so I told her I would help her get to the bathroom. I put on her socks and sneakers and then helped her get to the edge of the bed. This is quite the process---bed gets lowered and made flat, the side bumper comes off, then the bed is put back up so mom is in a sitting position…then mom has to grab the bed rail and scooch to the edge of the bed…ever so slowly. She made it! On her own! But then mom said she didn’t trust that I could help her and wanted her CNA. She kept asking what we’d do if both of us fell. She was angry so I thought that anger could go toward the energy she needed to stand herself up. It was working. Her CNA came in just then and mom wouldn’t stand at first, but then, after the CNA talked to her a bit, mom stood and also took about 4 steps with the walker to the chair!!!!! WOW! I mention all this because this is all part of what has to be accomplished at home, with us. Mom needs to make that transfer of skill abilities, to generalize her skills to new places and with new people. Thank God she seems to respond well to dad.
Mom’s regular, weekly CNA commented that all it takes is time and patience and encouragement with mom in order to get mom to use her skills. The CNA said that there are other people here (staff) who just don’t want to wait and give the necessary time. The CNA said that mom IS able---she just needs to build her confidence with everyone helping her. The CNA told the PT yesterday that mom does NOT need to move with the serita lift and that all she needs is patience. The CNA said mom needs to move forward!
Mom began to write in her journal breakfast. Again, she writes without any help to think of what to say or how to spell or what topic to write about!!!! Her ability to write is so miraculous…the way it just came back out of nowhere!! Mom wrote:
“November S (8) 2011 Tuesday
I am here with me for breakfast (then she read what she wrote and said,
“No, that’s not right” and she wrote ‘Kathy’ under the words, ‘I am here’
and made an arrow from ‘Kathy’ to a space between the words, ‘here’ and
‘with’). Kathy is my favorite pest. Why is she a pest? Because she bugs me
all the time. I done (don’t) know how the weather is today but it does look
beautiful. As usual, I am waiting for Jean to come and he is coming (so is
Christmas).”
Mom was in a comical mood today—vacillating between anger and comedy. She would stick out her tongue at me or pinch me or slap me in her fits of frustration and comedic moods!!! After her shower, mom wanted me to put her makeup on so, “I can look nice for when dad comes.” I remember years ago, when we were all little kids, and each day around 3 p.m., mom would primp in anticipation of dad’s arrival home from work. I still have a vivid picture of mom standing in front of the bathroom mirror applying her make up at this time of day---she’d change her “housework clothes” and put on something nice and she’d fix her hair and put on her make up…every day she did this for dad.
Mom finished writing in her journal then. She wrote:
“I just had a shower and now I’m waiting so Kathy to do my makeup. I just
had a shower and Kathy is bugging me to finish this little desertation
(dissertation). I’m waiting for dad to come. I just had a shower and I feel
great! I’m waiting for my Jean to come. I miss him so. The (they) saw (say)
I’ll be goind (going) home soon but so is Christmas. Kathy is busy cleaning
my room. Straighting (straightening) it up. Momebod’ys (somebody’s) calling for help. Kathy is busy cleaning up the room and I’m waiting for my
Jean. When he com’s here my room lights ub (up) I can’t believe he does
that to me.”
Anthony came next and he and mom finished a word search puzzle that I took out for her to do.
Dad said that he was with mom when she received therapy. They are doing therapy in the hallway. Mom walked down the hallway near her room for 6 – 8 ft. She was having trouble because her feet were getting caught on the carpet. . He also said that she stood by the bar for a count of 50. Dad took mom for a walk around the 2nd floor.
I arrived at mom’s and dad was sitting next to her. They were sharing a snack. Dad told me how great she did with the PT today. Dad and I brainstormed some things mom will need when she comes home. We will need to get an extended shower seat so we can slide her into the shower on the extended seat. I also told dad that she will need the hand held shower sprayer. It will make it easier to shower her. Dad also said he will need to make a ramp to get her in the van. The wheelchair seat has to be an even height with the van seat for her to slide onto the van seat for transport.
Kathy came to see mom before class. She sat and talked with mom and told her about her day. Kathy came to see me present to today. I gave a Disability Awareness talk to a school district. Kathy took out the Ipad and then left. Mom and I played a baseball multiplication game. Mom didn’t make one mistake! She did problems like 12 x 10 and 11 x 10. Next, we played her word game. There are scrambled letters and she needs to unscramble them and make words. Next, mom played memory and she was able to make every match. Mom wanted to play a new game so she asked me to find one for her. I opened the tangram game. She matched all the shapes to create a figure.
I gave mom my laptop and she typed her name and address. She did well. She didn’t capitalize a few words but overall she did well. I then had her type all the letters in the alphabet. After that she typed the names of the people in the family. She looked at the armoire door and copied the names.
Mom had dinner. It was a weird combination. She had cottage cheese and peaches and potato salad. She ate all her dinner so go figure!
After dinner we watched TV. I was exhausted tonight. The CNA’s came in the room to put mom in bed. I sat with her and then we said a prayer and I kissed her goodnight.
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” 1 Thessolonians 5:11
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