I hope this message finds you and yours well. As you may know, Mom came home a year ago on December 2. Since then, we have had an amazing year with her, one that families seldom get the chance to share together. We all went to parks, the beach, upstate for 2 different weekends in her trailer and to see Jean in a show in Cohoes. We had a tea party—hats and all—in her back yard last spring. We have been to movies, restaurants, malls, diners, shopping, bowling, and visiting… What a glorious year it has been!
However, as many of you know, Mom had another major stroke the Sunday after Thanksgiving. She became very disoriented and confused that Sunday morning when she first woke---didn't know any of our names or where she was. Terry and dad found her this way and called Claudia. Claudia and John called the ambulance and mom was brought to the hospital.
We all arrived there together to be with her. Once we arrived there, she was starting to improve a bit...spoke in understandable words (but slurred) maybe 15-20% of the time, began to move her right arm and leg...but then regressed back to jumbled speech and no movement and then progressed back to moving and talking somewhat understandably again. She was even able to read! She spent a week and a half in the hospital and was then moved to a rehabilitation facility. At first, we had decided to take her home directly from the hospital, but when a really top-notch rehab facility offered to work with her, dad decided to give it a try there first.
She was only at the facility 24 hours when she was rushed to the hospital with respiratory distress and congestive heart failure. It was the longest life of our lives sitting there in the hospital with her; we really thought we would lose her that night because things were so touch and go. Yet, the next day, when I saw her, she was awake and alert!
She spent the next week in the new hospital and was then ready to be discharged. Since she had been through so much and really seemed to be much worse than before (and the hospital wrote her off as “not eligible for rehabilitation”), we thought she would best be cared for in a facility close to home that is run by the sisters/ nuns of the college Claudia and I work at. It is a serene place…a quiet, peaceful place, full of love. We resigned to this situation and prepared to work with her there ourselves once she arrived. However….at the ninth hour, her paperwork was changed to say (quite miraculously) that she WAS eligible for rehabilitation, so the wonderful rehabilitation facility she had been at took her back!!
She works VERY hard at this new facility…about 1 ½ to 2 hours of therapy (speech and physical therapy) per day. They work diligently and really hard with her to help her rehabilitate!! They even bring her to the gym every day and work with her there!! We try to work on speech with her using the IPAD and several apps and programs that can help her to learn the English language again whenever she is not too tired to do so. She is still building her strength – both physically AND mentally. We notice that, when she is overtired, she becomes very much like a small child in that she gets overstimulated and it is as though her brain goes into, what I call, “TILT” mode. She begins to get agitated easily and also to just recite random chains of letters (not words). She cries a lot at these times and wants dad badly (we send him home when we arrive later in the day since he spends the day with her every day). She moans and cries and recites random letters and sleeps for 5-6 seconds at a time before she finally truly konks out and sleeps soundly for 20-30 minutes or for the night.
Here is her current status: She used to be weak on the left side only but now is weak on both sides. She can now use her left side better than the right. She is starting to be able to lift her right arm and leg on command (this is important for therapy to continue). We continue to help her try to make connections between the mind and the body by telling her to think and say things like, “Move my right arm/leg…” as she does it independently or as we do it for her. She used to be able to speak and be conversational but now her speech is predominantly jarbled (but phonetic sounds or random recitations of letters), or clear especially at times of emotion and passion. She is eating pureed food for now because she is working on swallowing better.
She is largely frustrated when we, the kids and grandkids, visit with her---missing her time with dad. She fights us when we try to get her to eat---brings back memories of our kids when they were toddlers. She enjoys having Jean sing to her---show tunes and hymns…and even tries to sing with him. But she is most content when she is with the love of her life, dad, holding hands and watching TV or napping or talking (he to her—she listens).
As Claudia wrote in our blog: “Who is the first person I meet at the rehabilitation center but the head nurse who came to check mom in. She started to ask questions and I told her the story...the whole story. She looked at me and said, "I did the same thing with my mother." I couldn't believe it. She took out her phone to show me a picture of her mom in a hospital bed on a vent with her head bandaged. She told me her family also rehabilitated her mom from a brain tumor...four times! She had four brain surgeries and each time brought her back. She then showed me a picture of her mom in a party dress with her three daughters. They taught her to walk and talk again never leaving her side. Sometimes we think we know what is best for us, or our loved ones and it isn't what is best. God knows what is best and he will put the people in your life to help make all things possible.
Some have said this is such an usual, tragedy and one that can’t be explained. People question God and His intentions and wonder why this would happen to mom after the year of recovery she had and all the work we put into that recovery. But in reality, we all have a life to live and time to leave this earth. No one knows the day or the time of that personal departure. All that counts in life is that we make the most of every MOMENT and that we make sure we are in covenant with God so that we know where we are going when it IS our time to leave here. God is just and kind. He has been to our mom and us, that’s for sure, because we have been so blessed to be with each other in such a deep and special way for this past year…maybe even these past 2 ½ years. Mom has had the blessing of being in the midst of soooo much support and love from family and friends these last 2 ½ years---something that not too many of us get the chance to experience while here on earth. And we, her family, have had the blessing of enjoying her so much these last 2 ½ years!!!! Sooooo much!!! She could have died suddenly 2 ½ years ago, but she didn’t. God gave us the best 2 ½ years. The very best. He is in control and He is good. I thank Him each day that He is in my life and there for us.
We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for the prayer you offer up for us each day. We keep you all in our prayers each day as well. We all wish all of you and your families the best, (and as we learned to pray each day as children) most “happy, healthy, and holy” season of joy.
However, as many of you know, Mom had another major stroke the Sunday after Thanksgiving. She became very disoriented and confused that Sunday morning when she first woke---didn't know any of our names or where she was. Terry and dad found her this way and called Claudia. Claudia and John called the ambulance and mom was brought to the hospital.
We all arrived there together to be with her. Once we arrived there, she was starting to improve a bit...spoke in understandable words (but slurred) maybe 15-20% of the time, began to move her right arm and leg...but then regressed back to jumbled speech and no movement and then progressed back to moving and talking somewhat understandably again. She was even able to read! She spent a week and a half in the hospital and was then moved to a rehabilitation facility. At first, we had decided to take her home directly from the hospital, but when a really top-notch rehab facility offered to work with her, dad decided to give it a try there first.
She was only at the facility 24 hours when she was rushed to the hospital with respiratory distress and congestive heart failure. It was the longest life of our lives sitting there in the hospital with her; we really thought we would lose her that night because things were so touch and go. Yet, the next day, when I saw her, she was awake and alert!
She spent the next week in the new hospital and was then ready to be discharged. Since she had been through so much and really seemed to be much worse than before (and the hospital wrote her off as “not eligible for rehabilitation”), we thought she would best be cared for in a facility close to home that is run by the sisters/ nuns of the college Claudia and I work at. It is a serene place…a quiet, peaceful place, full of love. We resigned to this situation and prepared to work with her there ourselves once she arrived. However….at the ninth hour, her paperwork was changed to say (quite miraculously) that she WAS eligible for rehabilitation, so the wonderful rehabilitation facility she had been at took her back!!
She works VERY hard at this new facility…about 1 ½ to 2 hours of therapy (speech and physical therapy) per day. They work diligently and really hard with her to help her rehabilitate!! They even bring her to the gym every day and work with her there!! We try to work on speech with her using the IPAD and several apps and programs that can help her to learn the English language again whenever she is not too tired to do so. She is still building her strength – both physically AND mentally. We notice that, when she is overtired, she becomes very much like a small child in that she gets overstimulated and it is as though her brain goes into, what I call, “TILT” mode. She begins to get agitated easily and also to just recite random chains of letters (not words). She cries a lot at these times and wants dad badly (we send him home when we arrive later in the day since he spends the day with her every day). She moans and cries and recites random letters and sleeps for 5-6 seconds at a time before she finally truly konks out and sleeps soundly for 20-30 minutes or for the night.
Here is her current status: She used to be weak on the left side only but now is weak on both sides. She can now use her left side better than the right. She is starting to be able to lift her right arm and leg on command (this is important for therapy to continue). We continue to help her try to make connections between the mind and the body by telling her to think and say things like, “Move my right arm/leg…” as she does it independently or as we do it for her. She used to be able to speak and be conversational but now her speech is predominantly jarbled (but phonetic sounds or random recitations of letters), or clear especially at times of emotion and passion. She is eating pureed food for now because she is working on swallowing better.
She is largely frustrated when we, the kids and grandkids, visit with her---missing her time with dad. She fights us when we try to get her to eat---brings back memories of our kids when they were toddlers. She enjoys having Jean sing to her---show tunes and hymns…and even tries to sing with him. But she is most content when she is with the love of her life, dad, holding hands and watching TV or napping or talking (he to her—she listens).
As Claudia wrote in our blog: “Who is the first person I meet at the rehabilitation center but the head nurse who came to check mom in. She started to ask questions and I told her the story...the whole story. She looked at me and said, "I did the same thing with my mother." I couldn't believe it. She took out her phone to show me a picture of her mom in a hospital bed on a vent with her head bandaged. She told me her family also rehabilitated her mom from a brain tumor...four times! She had four brain surgeries and each time brought her back. She then showed me a picture of her mom in a party dress with her three daughters. They taught her to walk and talk again never leaving her side. Sometimes we think we know what is best for us, or our loved ones and it isn't what is best. God knows what is best and he will put the people in your life to help make all things possible.
Some have said this is such an usual, tragedy and one that can’t be explained. People question God and His intentions and wonder why this would happen to mom after the year of recovery she had and all the work we put into that recovery. But in reality, we all have a life to live and time to leave this earth. No one knows the day or the time of that personal departure. All that counts in life is that we make the most of every MOMENT and that we make sure we are in covenant with God so that we know where we are going when it IS our time to leave here. God is just and kind. He has been to our mom and us, that’s for sure, because we have been so blessed to be with each other in such a deep and special way for this past year…maybe even these past 2 ½ years. Mom has had the blessing of being in the midst of soooo much support and love from family and friends these last 2 ½ years---something that not too many of us get the chance to experience while here on earth. And we, her family, have had the blessing of enjoying her so much these last 2 ½ years!!!! Sooooo much!!! She could have died suddenly 2 ½ years ago, but she didn’t. God gave us the best 2 ½ years. The very best. He is in control and He is good. I thank Him each day that He is in my life and there for us.
We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for the prayer you offer up for us each day. We keep you all in our prayers each day as well. We all wish all of you and your families the best, (and as we learned to pray each day as children) most “happy, healthy, and holy” season of joy.
